Spirituality vs Religion

This is a subject on which I will likely post often. Before I introduce you to Gnostic Christianity, let me first share with you my views on Spirituality vs Religion.

I was raised by parents who did not attend church. My father was made to go to church every Sunday when he was growing up, so as soon as he was able to make that decision for himself, he chose to never return. My mother, I believe, was raised Catholic, but I emphatically remember her claiming to be an atheist at one point when I was younger. She denies ever having said it now, but I do remember her saying it. In any case, when I was asked by my mother if I wanted to go to church, I said yes. I was curious. So, it was decided that I would go to the church where my grandmother was a member, where, presumably, my father went to church when he was a boy. It was a southern Baptist church. Apparently, the story goes that my grandmother was raised in a four-square church, but when she married my grandfather, who was born and raised in Kentucky, he requested a Baptist church, and so that's where they went. I started going to church in the 4th grade. I remember my 4th grade Sunday school teacher, Mrs. Turner. She had a daughter who was a little younger than myself - Tina - and twin daughters. She made Sunday school fun and I learned a lot that year from her. I continued going to church every Sunday through high school. My grandmother paid for me to go to camp a couple of times with my class when I was in 5th or 6th grade and again when I was in 7th or 8th grade. I remember being saved and accepting Jesus Christ into my heart during the last summer camp I attended. I had even asked to be Baptized but it was decided that I wasn't yet old enough to make that choice. So I have never been Baptized.

While I thoroughly enjoyed the camaraderie of Sunday school, the older I got, the more I began to question what I was being taught. I had questions that weren't being adequately answered. At least, I wasn't getting the answers for which I was searching. Why, for example, do church people refer to themselves as "God-fearing Christians" when God is all-loving? Also, why would God only accept a certain kind of person into Heaven and send the rest to Hell? If God is our father, doesn't he love us all the same? I wanted to know. Finally, I stopped going to church all together.

I returned to church periodically over the years, but none that I had attended ever sounded convincing to me. When my middle son was a baby, my husband and I attended church for two years. He only went because I deemed it necessary for our family. He was willing to do whatever I wanted to keep the marriage happy (back in the days when he was still compromising). I found what I thought was a good church. They didn't preach money (as in tithe 10% of everything you own) and I was learning quite a lot. But what made me stop going to church was the hypocrisy I discovered in my Bible study class. During the last class that that I attended, the discussion had turned to whether or not the congregation should allow gay people to worship with us. I sat and listened to the people with whom I had been social for the last two years condemn the lifestyles and choices of gay people. These same people who claimed to live their lives in the footsteps of Christ. Who claimed to love their neighbors. Finally, I couldn't listen anymore. I raised my hand to speak and when acknowledged, I stood up and said, "Jesus was asked of all the ten commandments, which is the most important. And Jesus said, the most important is the first commandment which says to love God your father with all of your heart, all of your soul and all of your mind. And the second commandment is just as important, to love your neighbors as you love yourselves. That is all we have to remember. How can we call ourselves Christians if we do not love our neighbors, regardless of their orientations?" And I sat down. That was the last day my family went to church.

I used to read the Bible. I would set my alarm clock for 5am. I would get up and fill the tub with super hot water and I would light candles. Then I would grab my Bible and I would read it while I sat in the tub. I've read the Bible, cover to cover, at least three times. Can I quote Bible verses? Only a few. I didn't memorize the Bible. I know some of the stories, but most of it is lost somewhere in my memories. I told you that to tell you this: I know that the Bible was written by man's hands and is therefore not entirely accurate. I went to church with people who honestly believe that the Bible is 100% accurate, cover to cover. I do not think that way. I'm a little more realistic. I know, for instance, that when King James had the Bible written for his people in a language they could understand, he asked the translators to add certain things to his Bible because he wanted to be in control of his people. King James was afraid of witches, so it was written into the King James version of the Bible that witch craft and witchery are against God's law and therefore not allowed. I don't want to get into a debate with anyone over the validity of the Bible, regardless what version you read. I know that I can never convince anyone who believes the Bible is 100% accurate that it isn't. And I'm not asking you to believe me. I'm just telling you what I believe.

I have done quite a lot of research on how religion was formed and its effects on our history. I learned, for example, that Catholicism is one of the oldest religions out there. But it's not the oldest. I learned that it was the Catholic church who was responsible for starting the Dark Ages, mostly with their greed of power. I learned that the Catholic church was not necessarily started to teach people about God but rather to obtain certain possessions that it felt were rich in value, such as land. They saw a way to profit from the people who were anxious to learn and willing to follow. Somewhere along the way, they had it written into the Bible that God said to make him happy you had to give your possessions to the church or you would go to hell.

But, somewhere in the new testament, Jesus mentions that the body is a temple; that we don't need a building to talk to our Father, but only need a quiet mind. No where in the original writings did it ever say you had to build a church in order to be loved by God. God does not want our money. He has no use for it. It's the church that wants our money. The church needs our money to grow. Churches nowadays aren't looking for money for the same reasons as the church of old did. I can't fault the churches of today for wanting us to tithe. They are of the belief that the Bible is 100% truth, cover to cover. But, the church of old was greedy, plain and simple. They set the standard by which we now practice when we go to church.

To me, spirituality is the relationship we have with our Father. All God really wants is to have a relationship with us. What father doesn't want to have some kind of relationship with his children? We don't necessarily need religion in order to have that relationship. Church can help us learn how to do that, if we need that help. But one should not feel obligated to have to go to church in order to have a relationship with God. All you need is a quiet mind and an openness to listen. He's there. He's listening, watching. He's kind of like Santa Clause: He can see you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake; He knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake. Everyone has a dad. Some of us are parents with children. Let's stop and think for just a moment. How much do we love our children? How much do we love our parents? As an adult, do you still talk to your mom and dad (assuming they are still alive)? As a parent, do you wish for the best for your children? If you think of God in the same regard that you think of your earthly parents, or your children, then you can get a better perspective on what kind of relationship God would like to have with you. Just because you can't see Him, doesn't mean you can't talk to Him. And you don't have to talk to Him only in prayer, or only when you're hurting, or only when you're down and out, or only when you need his help. You can talk to Him anytime you want about anything that you want. I talk to Him all the time. I tell Him things that he already knows, but it gives me something to talk about. Sometimes I talk aloud when I'm working all by myself. Sometimes, I bounce ideas off of Him. But, the important thing is, I have a relationship with Him.

And by extension, I have a relationship with His son, Jesus. I admire Jesus. I look up to Jesus. I live my life the way I perceive Jesus would if he were here in this time. I love everyone. I accept everyone. I help as many people as I can when I can. I don't turn away when I see "strange" people, because everyone is a child of God. We are all here for a purpose. Many people wonder what our purpose is. I know my purpose. I know why I'm here. One of my duties is to shine a bright light in the desert for all to see; to be a beacon of knowledge; to teach and to learn and to experience for God. God knows what my path is. He has given me guidance to ensure that I stay on my path. I think this might be part of that path. In fact, I know it is. It is part of the light that I am supposed to shine. I won't go into details right now... that will come later.... but this is what I've learned from my Gnostic teachings.

Basically, in case you haven't figured it out by now, I've denounced churches and will only go as a friend with a friend when invited. But I won't join a church ever again. I don't have anything against churches, per se, I just don't want to be there. I will not, however, denounce God... EVER. I will keep my relationship with Him, as I've done these past 10 years, simple and to the point. And I will share with those willing to listen what I have learned. And I know that I am making my father proud!