Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

This country of ours is as beautiful as the person who views it wants it to be. That is what I have discovered.

I love driving across Wyoming.  There are almost always herds and herds of pronghorn antelope and I actually spend more time looking at the landscape searching for the antelope than looking at the road ahead of me.  I'm very lucky there is very little traffic in Wyoming.  That's not to say that I don't ever watch the road in front of me... that would be crazy!  But I admit that I don't spend as much time as I should.

I recently spoke with a friend of mine that has been driving truck for 19 years and when I described the antelope I was seeing he said, "meh."  He was so blase about it that I was devastated.  But then I have to remember that he's been driving these roads for 19 years and he's probably had his fill of antelope.

Then one day I get a text from him.  He was driving across Wyoming and saw a bull moose near the Elk Mountain stream.  He sounded awed ... as much as one can sound awed in a text.  I happened to have been two days behind him along the same route, but by the time I got there, there was no sign of the moose.  Naturally.  I'm still hoping I'll get to see one.

In the springtime, Kansas was the greenest state I had been thru until then.  All the fields were an emerald green - at least on the east side of the state. I now know that they were green because they were still growing.  Now that the crops are ready for harvest, or nearly so, they've begun to brown and all that beautiful green is gone.  I'm glad I got to see it when I did.

If it wasn't for this job, there are many things that I would never get to see or experience.  I still haven't seen Mt. Rushmore, even tho I was within 25 miles of it.  I have not yet seen the Gettysburg battlefields, even tho I was broke down for two days just 30 miles from there.  But there will come a day when I'll get back to those parts of the country without a ginormous truck to maneuver, and I'll get to see all those places that I'm keeping notes on.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying every part of this country that my job takes me to... even the parts I get to see every single trip.

It's a lot like camping!

Adjusting to life on the road is really not all that difficult.  I tell everyone it's a lot like camping.  And it is.

As a kid, I used to go camping with my grandparents often.  They belonged to a camping club and went camping every 4th weekend of every month.  Obviously, I could not go every month, but they would take me as often as 5 times a year! I used to tell people that I grew up in a KOA.  Actually, we almost NEVER stayed at a KOA, but most people know what a KOA is so I use that as a reference.

The only difference is that I'm out here for weeks, opposed to days, at a time.  I really do enjoy the solitude, believe it or not.  Although it can become very lonely and boring if one allows it to, it's actually quite refreshing not having to listen to the boys fighting all the time.

I'm learning new tricks of the trade, as well.  Some truckers actually bring little BBQ's and BBQ themselves a steak once in awhile.  I saw one guy with some kind of an electric skillet and he was making himself some stir-fry, it looked like, in the cab of his truck.  And I thought I was being clever with my water boiler and a microwave!

On the plus side, I have gotten better at backing up a 53 foot trailer!  And I still haven't hit anything yet, knock on wood!  I know I shouldn't jinx myself like that, but hey, that's quite an accomplishment for me.

And as I sit here writing this, I'm watching a guy trying to back up a car hauler into a parking spot.  He's tried, and given up on three spots already.  He's currently working on number 4.  He's almost got it too.  I decided that no matter how much money those guys make, there's NO WAY you'll ever get me to pull one of those things around.  I mean, think about it... he's got two cars hanging off the back end of his trailer - one up top and one on the bottom - and he's also got one hanging right over his head.  No thank you.  You can keep that freakin' job!!

I do know that next time I go shopping for food, I'm getting a larger variety.  I am already tired of eating pasta all the time.  Most of the healthier options in the non-perishables are composed mainly of pasta.  It does, after all, store quite nicely.  And now that I know that my little fridge works, I'm getting some fresh vegetables and fruit to bring with me to.  Don't get me wrong... I do like those little fruit cups and V8 is a favorite as well, but they just don't compare to fresh... you know what I mean?

So if you know a truck driver, and decide you want to spend some time out on the road with him or her, just remember to pack like you would for a weekend camping trip.... except pack for 2 weeks, opposed to 2 days.

By the way, car hauler guy finally got his rig parked.  Yay!

And the Adventure Begins!

Oh my, what a first week I had at my new career.  I mean, I knew I would be having an adventure.  What I didn't know was that the adventure would be a truly remarkable one!

My first load took me to Terrell, Texas.  Oh how I looked forward to driving thru Wyoming and Colorado and Texas.  I longed to see the east side of the Rockies where the West began.

I was not disappointed.

I saw so much wildlife.... antelope, coyotes, elk, along with the usual assortment of cows and horses - domestic, of course.  In Texas, the #1 roadkill animal was the armadillo!!  I never did see a live one, though. (bummer)

My biggest adventure came in Texas.  First of all, I got to make a stop in Amarillo and saw my long lost childhood friend, JoLynne!  It was so nice seeing her.  It had been 30 years since we'd last saw each other. Her family had moved away and we lost contact.  I am glad to report that she looked exactly the same as I remembered her!  It felt good seeing her.

But then, I got close to Dallas.  At first, it was no big deal.  But suddenly, it became a big deal.  I was driving into a tornado warning!  And when I turned on the radio, a tornado had just touched down and was on the freeway that I was headed towards!  I called my Dad and asked him where the tornado was located.  As it happened, it was just southwest of where I was, but it was headed northeast - straight at me!

I called my driver manager and she told me to find a safe place to park.  I did not know the area, so found a shopping center that was partially under construction with few cars, so pulled in there.  Just as I was turning, I heard on the radio that the twister was picking up trailers and tossing them 200 feet into the air! Big rig trailers!

Needless to say, I started freaking out.  So much so, that when I tried to turn my truck around, I forgot about how big it was and landed my trailer tires in a newly planted planter box.  The soil was so new, that it was very soft and my fully loaded trailer sunk all the way up to the middle of the rims.  I was stuck where I was!  I couldn't get myself out!

Certain I had just lost myself a job, I called my driver manager and she took charge.  She told me what to do and called a wrecker to get me out of there.  Of course, right about then, the tornado sirens for the town I was in started going off so the wrecking company didn't come.  They waited until the tornado warning expired.

In the meantime, I am still freaking out.  I can hear the sirens and I just know that a tornado is going to come out of the black clouds above my head and toss me around like a matchstick!  Of course, that never did happen, but I was just sure that it would.  After a bit, I thought if a tornado did come, I could blame the tornado for being in the predicament I found myself.  Of course, that didn't happen either.

My driver manager and OCM (operation center manager) kept in contact with me during the whole ordeal, making me very glad that I worked for this company. I didn't know if any other company would take the time to keep an ELD (entry level driver) company while under her very first tornado warning.  It was comforting, in a way.

The tornado warning that I was under finally did expire - about 4 hours later.  And the wrecker came and got me out.  Of course, I did more damage to the trailer than I did to the planter box - thank goodness.  All repairable.  But it put me down for the night.

And I didn't lose my job.

When I finally got home and was able to thank everyone for staying with me that day, I told my employer that, while I thought it was one hell of an initiation, they weren't going to make me quit that easily!  And the safety manager wasn't as harsh on me as I thought he would be.  I imagine it was because of the circumstances.  At least, I hope it was.

I'm happy to report that I survived my first trip out as a professional truck driver, no worse for the wear.  I got to add New Mexico and Oklahoma to the list of states that I have driven thru, in addition to Wyoming, Colorado and Texas.

And yes, I am currently adding more states to that list, as I have not quit driving.

It is, after all, my dream!

Now I know why they call it "estranged"

People are funny, aren't they? I suppose if you're listening to the Doors, people could be strange. But mostly, I think they are funny. Especially the people that surround me every day.

I was thinking about my husband this morning. We have been separated for five and a half years, but are now living in the same house again. We've been living in my uncle's house for the past eight months: me, because this is where I'm going to stay for quite a long time; him, because he is not financially stable enough to get his own place yet. Life has not always been easy. After we moved to Idaho, and because we are living in the same house, it didn't take long to fall back into the old habit of acting like a married couple. And as much as I tried to keep things on an even keel, there have been fights. Thankfully, there has only been one really big fight, but it was enough for me to realize that I cannot continue to live with this man. I'm actually quite surprised that he is doing as well as he is living here. He normally cannot live with people because of their "rules." He's strange, I know. Or funny, however you want to look at it.

But there is a side to him that I sometimes wish I did not know about. For instance, not that long ago, when the weather was really cold, we were driving to the store (which is not just up the street since we live in a farming community) and we were passing these farms with cows and horses, and he said, "I don't think I could ever be a farmer." "Why not?" I asked. "Because," he replied, "I think it's cruel to leave the horses and cows outside in the cold and I wouldn't be able to bring them into the house, and I would want to bring them in the house." That statement spoke volumes to me.

And just this morning, I was watching my dog look at him. I got my dog three years ago when he was in his own place and I had my own place and she was my brother's and my dog. I fed her and loved her, and my brother played with her and loved her. She loved us but she never looked at us the way she looks at my husband. And the fact that she looks at him with that much love and adoration speaks volumes to me. I always knew he had a good heart. He just keeps it buried and hidden from the outside world in a pool of alcohol. And that changes him. Makes him the person I don't want to be around. And it makes me wonder why he chooses to do that. Because he knows that he's an alcoholic, but refuses to do anything about it. He says he likes his beer. But it's more than that, I think. As much as he has to live for (his two sons, for one thing), and as much as he's lost because of his drinking (namely me), and he still chooses to remain stuck in the world of addiction.

Perhaps he's afraid of what he'll be trading his addiction of alcohol for if he were to ever quit drinking. Because addicts trade one addiction for another. I know a great many addicts who are in recovery. And altho they are no longer doing drugs, or gambling, or drinking, there is most definitely a replacement in their lives in one form or another. I've watched a friend become addicted to energy drinks, give those up only to become addicted to pepsi, give that up only to become addicted to power and money. It's a vicious cycle. I've seen it over and over again. Unfortunately, until they find out what is causing the addiction in the first place and fix that, they will always find something to which they will become addicted. And I'm sure he's seen that also. He may play stupid and dumb at times, but I know that he is observant and not as stupid and dumb as he allows himself to appear.

And so, I sit here and wait for my trainer to become available so that I can get out of this place that he is in, if for no other reason than to leave the tension that is building up and threatening to cause a fight. Because even tho he knows that it is I who makes this house run smoothly, he will still find a reason to get angry and take it out on me. It's the pattern that I got tired of and made me leave him in the first place. It's that pattern, which is spurned by alcohol, that he seems unwilling to change.

Funny... or strange... indeed.

The wait continues.....

Today, March 1, 2012, I completed the orientation process at May Trucking Company and am now, officially, an employee!

woohoo!

And now I wait.

Because, apparently, my trainer has requested some time off.

What?!?!!

Time off?!

Doesn't she understand that I've been waiting a LIFETIME to become a truck driver and now all that stands between me and my dream job is her???

LOL

Seriously....

I did spend about an hour this morning deciding what I absolutely needed for three weeks and what I could do without and packed three bags to go with me.

Except I almost forgot my pillow and a blanket.

Ooops.

Probably a good thing I didn't leave today, huh?? LOL

Sigh! Oh well... I guess I've waited this long, I can wait a week longer, right?

Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life

I did, finally, pass my final test to get my CDL. It took me two attempts, but I only missed three points, which is better than any of my classmates. That was kind of cool.

So after I passed that test, I had to take another test. This one was for my new employer. It was yet another road test with a backing skills test. I passed, but barely. I am still a horrible test taker.

The road test was a piece of cake. I knew I would do well on that one. After all, I am a good driver... period. But it was the backing skills that had me worried. My instructor, Dan, at CWI, took us as a class to the yard that May uses for their backing tests and showed us the course and showed us how to maneuver the course. Then we were given an opportunity to try it. Dan told us since this was not the state test, we could pull forward and get out as many times as we needed to as long as we didn't hit anything. I was able to, over the course of several days, drive that course four times and each time I drove it, I never once hit a tire or ran over a cone. Today, I didn't run over any cones, but I did knock over three tires!

On the plus side, I had actually completed the course and was told to do it one more time before I hit the one stack of tires, knocking over three of the six. But I did hit them, nevertheless.

Thankfully, I still have a job! I thought for a moment there I was canned for sure. But, he was rather generous and apparently saw that I could actually do it if I was given enough time and practice.

Now that I know that this is really for real, it all feels so surreal! I mean, in about three days, give or take, I'm going to be driving an 18-wheeler for real! I'm going to invade the space of another trucker and I'm going to be a working truck driver.

And all these thoughts keep going thru my head: is she going to be nice? What is she going to be like? Will she be a talker or the silent type? Will she like me? Will she become my friend? Will I ever see her again once training is completed? What is life on the road going to be like? Am I going to adapt to it as easily as I think I will?

Sheesh!

History really does repeat itself.... on a small scale.

I had an epiphany yesterday. My test taking style has not changed since I was a teenager.

I took my final test for my Commercial Driver's License, and I failed the test. Not because I'm a horrible driver, but because I'm a horrible test taker.

Written tests come easy to me. Once I've been taught the material, it pretty much stays in my head until I no longer need it. I don't have to cram for a test. I just have to take it. Example: It has been 10 weeks since I finished the classroom portion of my truck driving class and I recently took the three endorsement tests. I walked into the DMV without having cracked open the book to review the material in 8 weeks. And I passed all three tests with flying colors. They were written tests. Two weeks later, I take my driving test and I missed too many points to pass the test. So I have to retake the test.

When I was 16 years old, I took my driving test for my driver's license for the first time. I passed the written test with flying colors. In the six months between obtaining my learner's permit and taking my driving test, I had much practice. My mom let me drive the car every time we left the house. I felt confident that I would pass the test. I followed the instructions the tester gave me and when we drove back into the parking lot and he added up my points, I had missed too many points to pass the test.

History, it seems, really does repeat itself.

The good news is I did pass my driving test for my driver's license when I was 16 the second time out. I'm rescheduled to take my final driving test for my CDL on Monday. I'm confident that history WILL repeat itself again!

Idaho is Beautiful.... But I Want More!

Oh the beauty of Idaho!

I am truly enjoying my road trips around the SouthWestern part of the state, and look forward to going to parts of the SouthEastern parts Our class has even managed to fit in a couple of trips to the Eastern side of Oregon! It's a real shame there aren't enough hours in the day to allow us to drive all the way to the coast of Oregon! I've never been and would love to go!

All of this pales in comparison to what I am about to explore. It won't be long before I'm able to get to explore the rest of these United States. I can only imagine what it will all look like. The one thing that I won't be able to do is take pictures while I'm driving. That is going to suck, because I love taking pictures of the beautiful sites I see when I'm out there. I have a couple hundred pictures of the sites I've seen here in Idaho. There is such beauty out there. I know my camera doesn't capture all the beauty I see, but it helps me to remember what I've seen.

My only problem at this point is the waiting. I am waiting for a female trainer to become available so that I can begin my training with May Trucking Company. And I'm getting discouraged by the recruiter. Intellectually, I understand that she has more in her day to do than to conjure up a trainer just for me; however, I feel like if they really wanted me to join their trucking family, they would do more to get me on-board sooner. I'm almost at the point where I want to say yes to another trucking company. But then I remember why I chose them over all the others, and I know my original decision was the right one.

In the meantime, I am getting more seat time which means more experience before beginning my new job. Which means that my training time could be shortened, which would mean more money more quickly.

Idaho is truly a beautiful state. But it is no substitute for the rest of the country.

My Trip to Idaho City, Idaho

My truck driving class, which has been reduced to four students since three of us successfully tested out yesterday, took a trip to Idaho City, Idaho. I drove approximately 2 hours - one hour before lunch and one hour after. Before we headed in the direction of Idaho City, which took about one hour, we first drove thru downtown Boise. That was so much fun, I do not even have a comparison for it. Seriously, though, I took the hot seat last, and as such, was given the distinct pleasure of actually driving the streets of downtown Boise.

For which I am grateful!

I had wanted that experience, if for no other reason than to get the nervousness of driving in downtown traffic out of my system. You see, when we first started transitioning from freeway driving to city driving, I would go from being a decent driver to having a train wreck in the cab of the truck. I would grind gears, lose gears, run over curbs... you name it, I probably did it. Well, except for kill anyone. I've never done that.

So my instructor, Steve, made me drive thru downtown, making all kinds of right and left turns and you do you know what happened? I wasn't nervous, or jittery, and I didn't run over any curbs or hit any poles. I did, however, hit a few trees on a very narrow street. But that could hardly be avoided without going over the center line. I didn't allow the traffic, which was not as great as it could have been, to bother me. In fact, except for the tailgaters, I didn't even pay attention to those pesky four wheelers. I did make sure that I wouldn't hit any of them, but did not let the fact that they were probably getting annoyed at me for driving under the speed limit get to me. I forgot about that, altogether. I kept my instructor, Tracy's, voice and words in my head - "They don't know you're having a train wreck in the cab." Those words took all of my anxiety away. I don't know why, but they did.

After lunch, which was spent at a truck stop on the outskirts of Boise, we headed in the direction of Idaho City. It was snowing and the snow on the ground was so beautiful, I had to take pictures. Not that I've never seen snow, but we've had such a mild winter here that we haven't seen much snow. I think it's snowed twice this winter here. The first time the snow was gone within three hours. The second time, it was gone within two days. I'm still waiting for that good snowfall. I took the pictures from the back seat of the truck. Usually, I have a side window from which to take the pictures, but we were in a different truck and the only window I had was the windshield. A couple of pictures were taken from behind the driver so it looks like I was driving when I took them. But I didn't.

Anyway, the trip itself was uneventful for all of us, which is really good news considering those of us who are left. Roger, who has taken the longest to feel comfortable sitting in the driver's seat, has come a long way in the last two weeks. I no longer feel afraid when he takes over the reins. I can really see the difference in his attitude towards the truck, as well. His confidence level has improved dramatically along with his driving abilities. I think the last test we took, which was really like a pop quiz to test our abilities, really helped him because he did better than he anticipated and the instructor only had good things to say to him. That helped him a LOT.

Speaking of the pop quiz, Steve, our instructor, who has been gone for four weeks, gave us the pop quiz upon his return so he could assess our training. When I had completed my road test, he told me that I missed four things, two on the backing skills, and then told me that he was impressed with my progress. I think I have exceeded his expectations of a female driver! And I like that! I do know that I am enjoying the hell out of my time behind the wheel as well as the road trips we are taking. I'm seeing places in Idaho and Oregon I might not otherwise get to see. Granted, we don't spend much time in each city we visit, but it's the journey that matters. Right?

In any case, I'm so looking forward to doing this for real! May Trucking is where I've accepted employment, and they have graciously accepted me as an entry level driver. However, they only have one female trainer and she won't be taking students until the end of February. So I'm stuck in school for another three to four weeks. Which is okay with me because it will give me an opportunity to further advance my skills, thereby giving me an opportunity to impress my new employer. Do you think that's even possible?? LOL

Truck Driving 101

I have, as some of you are already aware, gone back to school. Finally. I decided, and am being allowed, to follow my dream of being a truck driver.

Many of you may not be aware, but ever since I was a little girl I've dreamed of being a truck driver. Of course, for a long, long time I didn't thing it was possible for a girl to work in that man's world. But I met my first Peterbuilt when I was about 10 years old. My neighbor's youngest son drove trucks for a living and he drove one to her house to visit her. We called him Pudge. I can't even remember what his real name was. There was nothing spectacular about the truck he was driving that day; I remember it was white, and I think it was a cab-over (of course, I didn't know it was called a cab-over back then), but I distinctly remember the red oval Peterbuilt on the top of the humongous grill. And it was big. Not just big, HUGE! And I knew that some day I would drive a truck like that.

Ever since then, whenever I would go on a road trip, whether with my family or friends, and right up to the present day, I would watch for those big trucks out there on the highway. And at night, they were so beautiful! All those lights up and down the running boards and the trailers. The more lights a rig had, the better! And the more I looked at them, the more I wanted to learn how to drive one. I wanted to be the one behind the wheel going God-only-knows-where.

When I was 18 years old, I was hired to take care of an elderly lady in the home of her son and daughter-in-law up in Wrightwood, California. Her son, George, would take her to Beverly Hills to visit her daughter. On the drive, I would watch the trucks, as I always had. I remember on one trip, he mentioned that he had a secret love of 18-wheelers. He called it a "romantic" profession, being able to drive all over the country and see things that we often only dream of. I remember thinking he hit the nail on the head. It was romantic. I hadn't realized it, but I had fallen in love with truck driving.

Then, when I was 20 years old, I met a lady on my latest job who also wanted to be a truck driver. We had aspirations of being team drivers and making big money. But she had six kids at home - yes, 6 kids! The youngest one was three years old and she wasn't quite ready to leave him for a life on the road. So we promised each other that we would do it in a few years. Then I got a new job and a new place to live and one thing led to another and we lost touch. A few years later, I heard that she had passed away. I don't know if it ever would have worked out, but it was a good dream, and the memories I have of her I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Then I started having children. Just before I got pregnant with my oldest son, my best friend and I started making plans to live like gypsies. We were going to quit our jobs and she was going to cash in her 401K and we were going to travel the continental United States. We would drive as long as we felt like driving and stop in whatever town tickled our fancy for as long as we felt like we wanted to stay. We might pick up some part-time, temporary jobs to earn some money to finance the next leg of our journey. We even planned all the sights we wanted to see. We were going to zigzag and crisscross the entire nation. And no matter where we went, no matter how long it took us, we vowed we would spend at least ONE New Year's Eve in Times Square in New York. Then I found out I was pregnant and we decided raising a kid in the back seat of a car was not practical. So we never did.

And I never pursued my dream of being a truck driver. Until now. My oldest son is now 18 years old and my youngest is old enough that he does not need to be glued to my hip anymore. My estranged husband loves the idea of being Mr. Mom to the boys and he now has a job that allows him a lot of home time. He even gets a lot of the same holidays that they boys do because he has a job with the government (he works at the VA hospital). So, since I have allowed him to change his occupation TWICE without nary an argument, he has generously agreed to let me live my dream.

And I am almost at the point where I am going to be doing it for real! This next week is the end of my first nine weeks of fifteen. Three out of seven students will be testing out on my birthday. I had hoped to have a job and be able to test out on my birthday as well, but I think I need a couple of more weeks to boost my self-esteem and gain a little more skill. Although I think the skill to be gained will be more in my head than what I really need. I'm not half bad, really, as a driver. I keep getting Kudos from my instructors - I've had four so far. My very first instructor told me after my first week that I did allow the size of the truck to intimidate me. Apparently, that's not usual. The second instructor I had said I drove "his" truck better than 9 out of 10 of his students. And I think I'm the only student who hasn't been instructed on how to drive in heavy traffic. I think my Southern California training has come in handy!!

My instructor for the last week has decided to do evaluations next week. So I'll be evaluated on my birthday for two weeks of progress. Each week they pretty much say the same thing... you are showing progress. Thankfully, tho, they have also pointed out at least one ares that needs work and one area where excellence was shown. Since I don't know what the rest of the students were told, I can only gleam at what I've been told: that my driving skills are very good and my instructor has confidence in my ability to make it in the trucking world. I think that was the most complimentary thing he could have said to me.

Ever.