Losing Weight is not so easy

I was talking to a friend of mine who is also overweight and considering having the lap band installed. I told him, "You don't need surgery to lose weight. Just a determination to win." I truly believe that.

For years and years, I was told that I would be so pretty if only I would lose weight. For the longest time, whenever I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat person looking back at me; therefore, I perceived myself to be ugly. It was only recently, when I developed a different outlook on myself, that I stopped seeing an ugly girl in the mirror.

What changed my outlook on myself? Me.

Because I was told that if I lost weight I would be pretty, I spent the better part of my adulthood dieting. Trying one diet after another, and realizing they didn't work. DIETS DON'T WORK. They don't work because after a short period of time on a diet, you realize that you are depriving yourself of the things that you love and give up the diet to have those things. If you go on the Atkin's diet, for example, you will lose weight as long as you follow the diet. That means no bread, no tortillas, no cake, no pasta - basically you can't have any carbohydrates that are made with flour and/or sugar. In the beginning, you convince yourself that you can do without those things. And the weight begins to come off and you begin to feel good. Then you find yourself in a situation where you tell yourself, "Just one bite." But that one bite is never enough. Next thing you know, you're eating sandwiches, wondering what ever possessed you to go on a diet that robbed you of this wonderful food. And forget ever going back on that diet. It never happens. So, whatever weight you were able to lose comes back and now you are yo-yoing your weight. Not a good plan.

I am not a breakfast eater. I realize now that that is not a good thing. However, it's hard for me to make myself eat breakfast when I'm not hungry in the morning. Even now, knowing that if I eat a healthy breakfast, I can lose a lot more weight, does not convince me to eat when I'm not hungry. Unfortunately, if I don't eat all day at work, I'll come home and consume all my daily calories in a short period of time. That's also not good. I do try to eat during the day. I sometimes make myself a sandwich (on whole wheat bread), and eat half in the morning and half in the afternoon. That's better than eating nothing all day.

What I've decided to do, to be a winner, is to eat as healthy as possible. I believe that as long I choose healthy foods - non-processed, home cooked meals, I can be healthier. And healthy has to be a better option.

I made a realization recently. Last summer, I did well with the healthier snack foods and lunches, mostly because I was working with someone who ate healthy snacks and meals. I felt good eating those healthier foods. Winter came - with the holidays - and I relapsed into eating not so healthy foods - what I call crap! A lot of pasta dishes, lots of cookies and whatnot from Christmas, a lot of processed meals - boxed dinners, skillet meals, stuff like that. And because I was eating crap, I felt like crap. It wasn't until Christmas this year that it hit me. Because this past summer and fall, I ate healthy. I still had processed foods and pasta dishes, but I ate less. I reduced my portions. And I cut out all the junk foods, and only do fast food once in awhile. I felt better again. My body felt better. I didn't lose weight, but the shape of my body changed. I think the weight loss wasn't showing on the scale, cuz I was developing some muscles that I had lost. I worked harder this past summer, thereby using more muscles.

I went to Idaho at Christmastime, and although I told myself I wasn't going to eat a lot of junk food, I did. I ate the cookies and candies my Aunt had made. And the more I ate, the crappier I felt. That was when the "eat crap = feel like crap" realization hit me. So, since I returned from Idaho, I haven't had any crap. Well, that's not exactly right. I have had some fast food fare, but not as often as I used to and I don't each as much as I used to.

It is more expensive to eat healthy. I won't lie to you. I am spending more money on groceries now than I did last year. But I'm cooking better foods. I told the boys (Jr and Nic) that we wouldn't be eating as much pasta this year. I'll be saving pasta dishes for special meals. Instead, I make rice - and not white rice - and potatoes for our starch. I am also making a salad to go with dinner every night. And I make veggies every night. So our meals now consist of a white meat (pork, chicken or turkey), veggies, salad, starch (rice or potato). And the portions are better. I only cook enough meat to feed the three of us a proper portion of protein, and I make enough salad and veggies so that they make up the largest portion of our meal. And we are walking away from the table satisfied. And my body feels better! AND, I'm losing weight.

It is possible to be fat and be healthy. I will never ever be thin. No matter how much weight I lose. But as long as I can move and I am healthy, that's all I care about. And with a mind set like that, I will win! I'm winning already!